Hello and welcome to Take Me Nowhere, a review blog catering specifically to sex toys! We are Ally and Jay. Ally is a 24-year-old web developer, writer, marijuana law reform activist, and blogger; Jay is a gamer and blogger. We're from New York. We are lucky enough to be connected with a few of the best online adult toy stores, and will always share our honest opinions about the toys we receive. Once a month, we will also hold a giveaway to share the fun with our readers. Learn More...

Behold… The Golden Dildo

Posted by Ally on Jul 31, 2010 at 11:28 pm
Filed under General and tagged

To go along with our reviews, we’re working on implementing a rating system into Take Me Nowhere so that our readers can better tell what we think of the products we receive, in case you want something other than our words. In addition to the rating system, which should be up in the next couple [...]

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In Case You’re Wondering…

Posted by Ally on Jul 31, 2010 at 06:27 pm
Filed under General and tagged

I know I said I was going to keep it private, but I changed my mind. I’m going to keep my whole network public, instead of keeping the best parts of me to myself. By taking on an alias and creating a new personal website, I feel like I’m hiding from something when I have [...]

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The Orchid G Gets an F from Me

Posted by Ally on Jul 19, 2010 at 07:42 pm
Filed under Reviews and tagged , , ,

When I started reviewing sex toys, one of the first ones to catch my eye was the Orchid G from Babeland. I had only had straight vibrators before, so the angled head was super captivating. I put off trying it out for a while, though, because it’s so thin. As it turns out, my worries [...]

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Close, but No Cigar

Posted by Jay on Jul 8, 2010 at 03:48 pm
Filed under Reviews and tagged , ,

When I first saw the Julian Stud Ring, I knew I had to try it. I’ve never used a cock ring before, and, seeing how I’m pretty girthy, I didn’t know what size to get. I decided that the Julian’s Stud Ring from Babeland was my best bet, seeing as it’s fully adjustable. When it [...]

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