I have been super stressed for the past couple of days and it’s turning me into a major bitch. I can’t stand myself when I’m like this, but I don’t know how to stop it. I just want to curl up in a hole until it all blows over.

Lover and I have been at each others’ throats for the past few days because of it. Everything he says, I feel like he’s talking to me like I’m a retard or something. It’s my biggest pet peeve, so of course I give him an attitude and that starts a fight. We make up, and then we’re back at it five minutes later.

I can’t stand it anymore. I actually hung up on him today. Now I feel like the worst girlfriend on the planet.

The sound of Romeo meowing is like nails on a chalkboard to me. I ended up chucking him out my bedroom door. I immediately broke into tears cause I felt terrible about it. That is so not me. I love my cat more than anything.

I don’t know what to do – I don’t know what I can do. I’m so lost. I feel like I’m losing my mind.

I’m mad at myself for breaking my ankle. It’s hard for me to do anything for myself, and I hate having to rely on other people to take care of me. I’ve been trying more and more every day to get back on my feet, but it hurts too bad and I just get discouraged. I’m sure this is a huge part of my stress. I feel like a huge inconvenience.

On top of that, I’m getting really irritated with work. No matter how many hours I work, I still don’t have any money. The Annoyance insists upon me handing over pretty much my entire paycheck, and then I don’t have any money to do what I want to do or get the things that I need. The only way I can think of to alleviate this is to lie to The Annoyance about how much I’m making, but lying to her makes me feel like a horrible person.

I’m also irritated with myself because, over the past month and a half, I’ve been having to take pain killers constantly for my ankle and I’ve acquired both a tolerance and an addiction to them. I fought so hard to kick my addiction a few years ago, and now I’m going to have to do it again. And this time it’s going to be harder, because instead of taking Percocet, I’ve been taking Methadone, which is basically legal, synthetic Heroin.

And to top it all off, my period is almost 2 weeks late. I have basically all the signs of early pregnancy, but I have a feeling it’s just stress-and-drug-related. I took a test this morning which came back negative. I know I should be relieved, but it actually upset me more. I’m not ready to have a baby yet, by any means, but the idea of it actually brought a little smile to my face. Now I’m back to feeling like a pathetic excuse for a woman.

Now that I think about it, I get like this every month around “that time of the month”. I think it’s time for me to go to a doctor… This shit is unbearable.