When I started reviewing sex toys, one of the first ones to catch my eye was the Orchid G from Babeland. I had only had straight vibrators before, so the angled head was super captivating. I put off trying it out for a while, though, because it’s so thin. As it turns out, my worries were not in vain.

Sure, it’s waterproof and that’s awesome… It’s purple and sparkly, which is nice. Besides that, though, I really can’t think of anything to say about it. It’s way too thin; I felt like I needed another vibrator besides this one for actual penetration. It’s got one speed, when it says it’s supposed to vary, and this one speed is not at all satisfying. It was hard to keep it on my G-spot, as it kept turning over, and unless it’s directly on the G-spot, there’s nothing to gain from it. I am really, really disappointed with this toy.

I feel bad, cause I can usually find something positive to say about anything, but with this I just really can’t. I’m struggling to find words to say at all, even bad. I’m just completely speechless over this thing… Overall a big fat F from me. Unless the G stands for “God Awful”, in which case I’d have to give it an A+.