Hello and welcome to Take Me Nowhere, a review blog catering specifically to sex toys! We are Ally and Jay. Ally is a 24-year-old web developer, writer, marijuana law reform activist, and blogger; Jay is a gamer and blogger. We're from New York. We are lucky enough to be connected with a few of the best online adult toy stores, and will always share our honest opinions about the toys we receive. Once a month, we will also hold a giveaway to share the fun with our readers. Learn More...

The Blossom Sleeve: A Blooming Success

Posted by Jay on Aug 2, 2010 at 07:35 pm
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Ever since I dove into the vast pool that is the porn universe on the internet, I have seen repeated ads for products like the Flesh Light. I never really thought about ever trying one of those so called “Pocket Pussies”. Until now. I stumbled across the Blossom Sleeve on Babeland. It didn’t look like [...]

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The Orchid G Gets an F from Me

Posted by Ally on Jul 19, 2010 at 07:42 pm
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When I started reviewing sex toys, one of the first ones to catch my eye was the Orchid G from Babeland. I had only had straight vibrators before, so the angled head was super captivating. I put off trying it out for a while, though, because it’s so thin. As it turns out, my worries [...]

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Close, but No Cigar

Posted by Jay on Jul 8, 2010 at 03:48 pm
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When I first saw the Julian Stud Ring, I knew I had to try it. I’ve never used a cock ring before, and, seeing how I’m pretty girthy, I didn’t know what size to get. I decided that the Julian’s Stud Ring from Babeland was my best bet, seeing as it’s fully adjustable. When it [...]

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Glorious is the First Word to Come to Mind

Posted by Ally on Jun 23, 2010 at 12:44 am
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I’ve only seen a couple episodes of Sex in the City, but one of the first ones I ever saw featured the Elastomer Rabbit Habit, and I was instantly intrigued. I was only 15 or 16 at the time, so there was no chance of getting one. Now, almost 10 years later, I’ve finally gotten [...]

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