Hello and welcome to Take Me Nowhere, a review blog catering specifically to sex toys! We are Ally and Jay. Ally is a 24-year-old web developer, writer, marijuana law reform activist, and blogger; Jay is a gamer and blogger. We're from New York. We are lucky enough to be connected with a few of the best online adult toy stores, and will always share our honest opinions about the toys we receive. Once a month, we will also hold a giveaway to share the fun with our readers. Learn More...

Close, but No Cigar

Posted on Jul 8, 2010 at 03:48 pm
Filed under Reviews and tagged , ,

When I first saw the Julian Stud Ring, I knew I had to try it. I’ve never used a cock ring before, and, seeing how I’m pretty girthy, I didn’t know what size to get. I decided that the Julian’s Stud Ring from Babeland was my best bet, seeing as it’s fully adjustable. When it [...]

(1) (0) (0)


Glorious is the First Word to Come to Mind

Posted on Jun 23, 2010 at 12:44 am
Filed under Reviews and tagged , ,

I’ve only seen a couple episodes of Sex in the City, but one of the first ones I ever saw featured the Elastomer Rabbit Habit, and I was instantly intrigued. I was only 15 or 16 at the time, so there was no chance of getting one. Now, almost 10 years later, I’ve finally gotten [...]

(0) (0) (0)


Impulse Flexi Rabbit: Intriguing, but Rather Dissapointing

Posted on Jun 23, 2010 at 12:28 am
Filed under Reviews and tagged , ,

I recently received the Impulse Flexi Rabbit, very excited because it was the first rabbit I’ve ever owned and I’ve wanted one for years. I immediately opened it and put the batteries in to turn it on and check out the settings. It’s got seven different vibration settings, ranging from really soft to really different [...]

(0) (0) (0)


The Kama Sutra

Posted on May 24, 2010 at 10:21 pm
Filed under Reviews and tagged , , ,

Like most people I’ve talked to, I assumed The Kama Sutra was just some old Indian book with a bunch of pictures of people having sex in crazy positions. When I actually received my copy from EdenFantasys and looked inside, I was pleasantly proven very, very wrong. The book itself is covered in Japanese Silk [...]

(0) (0) (0)